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英译杜甫《登高》兼谈体会 章学清
一 杜甫《登高》原诗和我的英译
杜甫《登高》原诗
风急天高猿啸哀,/ 渚清沙白鸟飞廻。/ 无边落木萧萧下,/ 不尽长江滚滚来。/ 万里悲秋常作客,/ 百年多病独登台。/ 艰难苦恨繁霜鬓,/ 潦倒新停浊酒杯。
我的英译: An Ascent
The wind so wild, the sky so high, / The moody monkeys sorely sigh. / The isle so drear, the sand so pale, / The lingering gulls in circles sail. / All over such a vast expanse, / The rustling leaves off branches dance. / The Yangtse River rises yon, / And passes raging on and on. / Apart from home so far and long, / With autumn, myriad sorrows throng. / With illness all my life to fight, / I now alone ascend this height. / Weighed down in troubled times with care, / I hate the growing hoary hair. / A broken heart, for cups I pine; / Oh, if my health permitted wine!
二 自译体会
《登高》一诗为杜甫于唐代大历二年(767)重阳节在夔州(四川奉节)所写。清代杨伦《杜诗镜铨》的赞语是“高浑一气,古今独步,当为杜集七言律诗第一。”明代胡应麟《诗藪》的赞语是“杜风急天高一章五十六字,如海底珊瑚,瘦劲难名,沉深莫测,而精光万丈,力量万钧。通章章法、句法、字法,前无古人,后无来学……此诗当为古今七言律第一,不必为唐人七言律第一也。”他又说:“若风急天高,则一篇之中句句皆律,一句之中字字皆律,而实一意贯串,一气呵成……真旷代之作也。”这些看法是有代表性的,是为古今学者们普遍接受的。
对这样一首难得的好诗,我在翻译时战战兢兢,费尽了心思;我对原诗从字面到内涵的各个层次,都细心寻绎,从难从严来要求自己。我的这首译诗在所译的十首中还是最满意的一首。
诗题“登高”也就是第六句中的“登台”;我认为应该译得笼统些,因此采用了“An Ascent”的译法。
译诗的格式模仿了Fletcher: 抑扬格,四音步,每两行同用一韵。全诗共用了八个韵部,把原诗每一行分译为两短行,读起来就显得铿锵有力。
第一行中,wind 和wild用头韵,sky和 high用尾韵。第二行中,moody 和monkeys用头韵, sorely 和sigh也用头韵。用了这些句间韵,又连用了四个so字,一开头就给人以气势磅礴之感,烘托出了胡应麟所说的“精光万丈,力量万钧”。这里的sigh意为“grieve, mourn, express grief or sorrow”,以此译“啸”,并不牵强。这两行的押韵也就显得自然了。
“猿”字在古诗词中常见;至于“猿”与“猴”是否有别,非但我们在阅读时习焉不察,甚至有些中文专家也未必深究。至于这个字的译法,那就更值得探讨了。常见的译法有monkey, ape和 gibbon三种,究竟何去何从呢?Fletcher主张译为gibbon,他在李白《早发白帝城》译诗附注中说:“唐诗中常见‘猿’ (gibbon) 字,可能那时的中国比现今更多森林。据我所知,现今长江流域不常见到’猴’(monkey),可能在西江上游仍能见到。”他这段话不易理解,似乎不能解释为现在不常见到猴而只能见到猿,也许他的原意是说现在连猴都不常见到,更不必说猿了。他这段话也不能说明唐诗中的猿就一定不是猴。旧版《辞海》说:“中国猿与猴,无甚别异。今动物学,猿有广狭二义:狭义单指类人猿而言,猩猩、大猩猩、黑猩猩、长臂猿等属之,余则概称为猴;广义则猿猴无别,统称为猿类或猿猴类。”我有些朋友去峨眉山观光时所见到的是体形较大的圆脸猴,而不是动物园中常见的尖脸猴。但大家还是称之为猴而不称为猿。所以我认为猿即猿猴,是统称。唐诗中的猿主要的还是猴。诸家译为monkey的居多,我认为比较确切。ape 是类人猿,gibbon是长臂猿,恐怕都不是合适的译法。
我的前两行借鉴了Fletcher的译法“The wind so fresh, the sky so high / Awaken the gibbons’ cry.”欣赏之余,进一步揣摩改写为我的两行,但仍未能脱其窠臼。
“渚清沙白”有几种不同的理解。《唐诗鉴赏辞典》解释为“水清沙白”,有些译家也是这样翻译的。渚本是江中小洲,诗人为何用清字来形容呢?沙是渚上的沙,还是沙滩上的沙呢?不同的理解就产生了不同的译法。夏松凉《杜诗鉴赏》说:“深秋九月,林寒涧肃,沙洲小渚,孤零冷落,所以说’清’;风霜高洁,水落石出,所以说’白’。”我认为这个解释融情于景,较为吻合。我就把“清”理解为“凄清”,译为drear (诗歌用语,即dreary), “白”也应带感情色彩,所以我不译为 white而译为 pale。这个 pale也正好同下行的 sail押韵, drear和 pale这两个形容词也同全诗的气氛相一致。 “The lingering gulls in circles sail”也译出了鸟儿回旋,流连而不忍去的情景。这里的sail应解释为 “glide through the air without apparent exertion”,亦即翱翔之意。
颔联“无边……”两句是脍炙人口的名句,对仗极为工整。可是我考虑到“中诗尚整,英诗尚散”(吕叔湘语)的特点,没有把对仗形式翻译出来。何况全诗四联都用对仗,要全部译为对句,也是极困难的,甚至是不可能的。即使做到了这点,,或许还会因迁就形式而妨碍内容的充分表达,影响译诗的流畅,读起来也不象英文诗了。有些翻译家追求译诗的对仗,忽视了英诗与汉诗的差异,我不敢赞同。我着重把“无边”和“不尽”译透,以体现这两句的“精光万丈,力量万钧”。将“无边”单独译为一行:“All over such a vast expanse”,其中的such也同前面的四个so 相呼应;将“落木萧萧下” 译为另一行:“The rustling leaves off branches dance.”其中将“下”字译为“dance”,使人感受到“萧萧”的音美以外,还看到了落叶纷纷飘舞的生动情景。“不尽”和“滚滚”分别译为“rises yon”和“raging on and on”,来烘托那种来不见源头、去不见尽处的、源远而流长的情景。其源远的一面常为译家所忽略。我最初译为“The Yangtse rises far away / And rages eastward to the bay.”其中的eastward和bay都未免失之太实。
现在谈谈颈联“万里”二句的翻译。“万里”二字的译法有些翻译家拘泥于字面,如a thousand miles, three thousand miles, ten thousand miles, ten thousand li 等。在英美诗歌中,是很难读到这些具体数字的。我采用了意译,把“万里常作客”译为“Apart from home so far and long”作为一行,再把“悲秋”译为“With autumn, myriad sorrows throng”作为另一行。其中加了“myriad”,来体现百感交集,思绪万千。“悲秋”二字应是“诗眼”,杜甫于重阳节独自一人登高,抚今追昔,产生了无穷的悲愁情绪,所以我翻译时突出地加以渲染。
原诗第六句中的“百年”诸注家大多解释为“一生”,只有罗大经解释为“暮齿”(即晚年),后来《唐诗鉴赏辞典》也说“此处专指暮年。”我则采用前说,将“百年多病”译为“With illness all my life to fight”这一个带介词的复合结构作为一行,又将“独登台”译为“I now alone ascend this height”作为另一行。这个“台”也就是杜甫在《九日》五首第一首中所说“抱病起登江上台”的“台”,我认为应该译得笼统些,就根据罗大经所注“高迥处”译为“height”。诸家也有译为terrace, mountain, lofty stage 和tower的,我认为还是height更加概括。有位朋友说《戴南山集》中有此台的考证,可是我在那集子中没有找到。我想即使找到考证,还是以不加注为好。
最后谈谈尾联“艰难二句的译法。原诗第七句中的“恨”大多数注家认为是动词,“苦恨”意为“非常恨”,与末句的“新停”相对。萧涤非却说:“末二句用当句对法,艰难对苦恨,潦倒对新停。”这种解释未免穿凿附会。我将第七句译为“Weighed down in troubled times with care, / I hate the growing hoary hair.”这里的care是广义的,包括国忧、民忧和个人的不幸遭遇各个方面。“Weighed down”衬托出艰苦备尝,被各种心理重压压得透不过气来的难受情景。
原诗末句很多注家认为弱了些。沈确士说:“结句意尽语竭,不必曲为之讳。”胡应麟也说:“此篇结句似微弱者”,但他接着又说:“只如此软冷收之,而无限悲凉之意溢于言外,似未为不称也。”我认为沈评过苛,胡评后半部分尚属允当。其实末句是全篇的最强音,并不微弱。与其说是软冷,毋宁说是高亢。杜甫在此感慨万分的时刻,多么想痛饮几杯,来浇浇胸中的块垒,散散心头的郁积啊!可他就在最近因肺病加剧而不得不戒酒,满腔的悲愤和苦闷无处发泄,该多痛苦啊!按照这样的理解,我将此句译为“A broken heart, for cups I pine; / Oh, if my health permitted wine!”我没有把“潦倒”理解为个人的穷困来翻译,而是把上面的weighed down加以深化,译为“a broken heart”(我的心都碎了)。接着又说:我多么渴望浮几大白啊!唉,要是我的健康情况能够允许我喝酒,该多好啊!末行用虚拟语气,表示这个愿望无法实现。我费尽心思,深挖内涵,终于大胆地摆脱原文,来着重体现“最强音”,而这个“最强音”又含蓄在看似软冷的虚拟语气之中,无限悲愤的强烈感情也就溢于言外了。真是“言有尽而意无穷”,这就是我所追求的神似境界。如果读者能在读后感到余味,我就十分欣慰了。至于“新停”和“浊”等字眼,就不求形似了。
三 学习诸家译作的体会
我收集到的诸家译作共11篇;J. B. Fletcher , 许渊冲(两篇)和吴钧陶都以格律体译出;而 F. Ayscough , R. Alley, W. Bynner,,杨氏夫妇,柳无忌和李维建则以自由体译出。
题目的译法有: The Heights, On the Heights, Climbing the Heights, A Long Climb, Climbing a Terrace, Mounting, Written on an Autumn Holiday等。“高”译为heights 比较概括,这里用复数形式来表示单数内容,符合英语习惯,因此前三种译法我都赞同。“Terrace”的译法似乎失之太实。“Mounting”的译法比较灵活,虽省译了“高”字,却也把“高”字隐含在其中了。“高”字转译为Long,看似走样,其实Long同 Climb的搭配在英语中也是成立的。“Written on an Autumn Holiday”的译法不够确切,重阳节固然是秋季的节日,但秋季还有其它节日,诗题的翻译是不能这样随便的。
就全诗的翻译来说,我最欣赏杨氏夫妇的译作,正确流畅,是自由体译作的上品。柳无忌的译作也非常妥贴,可惜限于篇幅,未能引录。有些译句下面还要论及。
许渊冲将首联译为:“The wind so soft, and sky so wide, apes wail and cry; / Water so clear, and beach so white, birds wheel and fly.”形式极为工整。但我对“wide”有些疑问,因其未能充分表达秋高气爽的意味;可能是为了增加双唇音,追求音美之故。“wail and cry”和“wheel and fly”是否改为“wailing cry”和“wheeling fly”好些?因为 cry和 fly表示主要动作,各用分词作状语来表示动作方式,这样就能主次分明。
有的译家将首联译为:“Swift wind and a high ceiling mournful the monkeys sound, / From island to white beach the birds are wheeling round.”起句就似乎给人以生硬的感觉;“渚清沙白”的译法也似欠妥。
有的将首句译为:“These days of autumn, the clouds / Are high; wind rises in strength; / Far away the cry of monkeys can / Be heard, giving people a sorrowful / Feeling.”读之似觉流畅有余而简练不足,并且失去磅礴气势,与杜甫风格大相径庭。
有的将第二句译为:“The isles clear-cut, the sand so white / Arrests the wheeling seagulls’ flight.”上行中省略了一个so, 便觉不对称,下行中sea-gulls中的 sea似为画蛇添足,夔州去海甚远,故不宜用 sea字。这些都是凑合格律之过。“arrest”用词极工,有“留鸟住”之意。
有的将第二句译为:“Birds are flying homeward over the clear lake and white sand.”其中homeward和 lake是明
显的错误:把回旋误解为回家,把小洲误解为湖泊。古本“廻”多作“回”,这可能是造成误解的原因。还有译
为“Birds coming home”, “backwards birds fly”,也是同样性质的错误。“The birds are cleaving fine ”的译法则把
回旋误解为掠过,其动作的性质与原意完全不同;fine的凑韵也很明显。
关于“无边”二句的翻译,杨氏夫妇译得非常好:“Everywhere the leaves fall rustling from the trees. / While on for
ever rolls the turbulent Yangtse.”读之似觉老练而有神韵。
F. Ayscough 之译杜诗,有逐字死译之嫌。 A .C. Graham曾评之为 “the most advanced sufferer from the
character-splitting fallacy”。但这联的译法却有独到之处:“Without bounds is the forest, leaves fall, swish, swish, they drop; / No ending has Great River, swirl, swirl, it comes.”把“萧萧”和“滚滚”译得有声有色,实在值得欣赏。
柳无忌将此联译为:“Leaves fall from deep woods — rustling and soughing; / The Long River rolls on, forever, wave after wave.”也曲尽其妙。只是觉得把“无边”译为deep,含蓄有余而气势不足。
Fletcher将“无边”句译为:“Through endless space with rustling sound / The falling leaves are whirled around.” 译得既工整,又自然。他把“不尽”句译为: “Beyond my ken a yeasty sea / The Yangtze’s waves are rolling free.”其中的ken 解释为 range of sight, 是古英语的用法,用来译古诗是可以的。但 “yeasty sea”费解。“yeasty”意为 “bubbling, foamy ” ,嫌弱;“sea”可能用来比喻长江,不妥。“free”不仅嫌弱,还有凑韵之嫌。
许渊冲把此联译为:“The boundless forest sheds its leaves shower by shower; / The endless river rolls its waves hour after hour.”他以对仗形式译出,字面非常工整,我很欣赏。只是觉得“hour after hour.”在格律上虽也可以看作为抑扬格的两个音步(hour看作单音节),但在意义上似乎不够确切。若改为:“rolls its water wave after wave”,词意似较妥贴,但不押韵了。“shower by shower”在意义上虽较吻合,但在格律上又破格了,因为不论看作五个音节还是三个音节,都不能满足抑扬格两个音步的要求。这是很难解决的问题。看来唯一的办法还是打破对仗的框框,译得“散”一些,问题才能迎刃而解。
Alley把此联译为:“falling / Leaves rustle as they come through / The air. The Yangtse seems endless / With its waters rolling on incessantly.”下句译得很妥贴,但上句中省译了非常重要的“无边”,未免遗憾;as从句也过于平淡。
有的译家把第三句译为:“Leaves are dropping down like the spray of a waterfall.”比喻失当,“萧萧”之意境全失,“无边”也未体现。有的译为 “Leaves rustling down”,似过于草率和简略,“无边”也无着落。请想一想外国朋友们读了这三个词能够看出这原来是杜甫的警句吗?
有的译家把第四句译为:“The ever-flowing Yangtze on its way rolls and wrestles.”其中“wrestles”意为“摔跤、拼搏”,画蛇添足,不伦不类,盖为与上行rustles押韵所致,且韵也不工。这是“因韵害义”之一例。
杨氏夫妇把“万里”二句译为:“All around in autumnal gloom and I, long from home, /A prey all my life to ill health, climb the terrace alone.”译得极为高妙,显出了老翻译家的非凡功力;特别是“百年多病”的译法恰到好处。柳无忌把“百年”句译为:“My whole life afflicted by sickness, I mount alone the high terrace.”也很妥贴。Alley译为: “with sickness for / A companion; now do I climb high / Above the river by myself.”其中“登台”的译法很巧妙,“台”字虽未直接译出,读者也可体味出来。但把“多病”误解为想念伴侣或朋友,很不应该。有的译为:“With dragging years and illness wage / Lone war upon this lofty stage.”句法不自然,“百年”的译法不确切,“wage lone war”似嫌做作。有的译为:“Life is short, my health failing, here / I stand alone.” 其中把“百年”作“人生短暂”译出,实为理解错误。“台”字未译出,“登”字无着落,从上下文中也看不出杜甫是站在哪里。有的译为:“A hundred years, many illnesses! Alone I climb the tower.” 其中“百年多病”逐字死译,曲解原义。
柳无忌把“艰难”句译为:“Beset by hardships, I resent the heavy frost on my temples.”译得十分确切, 同我的思路不谋而合。Bynner译为: “Ill fortune has laid a bitter frost on my temples.”采用拟人格,也是一种办法,但总觉得不很切合原意。“fortune”局限于个人遭遇,“bitter ”修饰“frost ”也是理解错误。有的译为:“Hating the hardships which have frosted my hair,”则把“艰难”看作“苦恨”的宾语,又把“繁霜鬓”看作“艰难”的定语,似乎不是正解。我认为“艰难”和“潦倒”貌似名词,实为副词,分别用作“恨”和“停”的原因状语;“繁霜鬓”和“浊酒杯”分别作这两个动词的宾语。当然翻译不能死抠语法,但正确的语法分析也是理解原文的钥匙。有的译为:“Hardships and bitterness frosting many a hair” ;有的译为:“Troubles and sorrow have turned my hair grey”;有的译为:“Sorrows, hardships, bitterness, grief, thickly frosted hair on my brows”这三家都把“艰难”和“苦恨”作为名词译出,显然是理解错误。第三家译成四词,尤为累赘; “brow”更是误译。有的译为:“With troubles vexed and trials sore / My locks are daily growing hoar.”其上行似可作“Vexed with troubles and sore with trials”来理解,但究嫌晦涩。“苦恨”的译法也不正确。
关于末句的翻译,我最欣赏的是杨氏夫妇的“Sad that illness has made me give up the solace of wine.”和柳无忌的“Dispirited, I have by now abandoned my cup of unstrained wine.”
有的译家译为:“Till Time, before whose steps I pine, / Set down this failing cup of wine!” 有的译为:“Down and out, can’t even drink now, / can’t even drink now.”则把“潦倒”作落魄贫困解,未能由表及里,深挖内涵。又连说两句“现在连酒都不能喝”,使人误解为买不起酒喝。“Pressed by poverty, I give up my cup of wine”和“Cast down by poverty, I have to give up wine”也存在着同样性质的问题。通过这样的翻译,原来的诗句就真的显得“微弱”了。
总括以上的一些问题来看,我们不难得出一个结论: 正确理解原文,掌握正确思路,抓住原文的精神实质,这是翻译之前必须解决的首要问题。错误的理解必然导致错误的译作。只有正确理解了原文,才能深挖内涵,然后在表达上狠下工夫,从形似升华到神似,而译者的态度严谨与否也是至关重要的。
*《英译杜甫”<登高>兼谈体会》一文原载于《外国语》1990年第二期(总第66期)。曾于1992年2月获化工部永不淡忘老同志功勋展参展证书。
诸家英译《登高》选录
Climbing a Terrace 杨宪益、戴乃迭译
Wind blusters high in the sky and monkeys wail; / Clear the islet with white sand where birds are wheeling; / Everywhere the leaves fall rustling from the trees, / While on for ever rolls the turbulent Yangtse. / All around is autumnal gloom and I, long from home, / A prey all my life to ill health, climb the terrace alone; / Hating the hardships which have frosted my hair, / Sad that illness made me give up the solace of wine.
Climbing the Heights 柳无忌译
When winds rage and the sky is high, gibbons cry mournfully; / Over white sands on a clear riverbank, birds fly and whirl. / Leaves fall from deep woods – rustling and soughing; / The Long River rolls on, forever, wave after wave. / Ten thousand miles away in sad autumn, I often find myself a stranger; / My whole life afflicted by sickness, I mount alone the high terrace. / Beset by hardships, I resent the heavy frost on my temples; / Dispirited, I have by now abandoned my cup of unstrained wine.
The Heights W. J. B. Fletcher 译
The wind so fresh, the sky so high / Awake the gibbons’ wailing cry. / The isles clear-cut, the sand so white, / Arrest the wheeling sea-gulls’ flight. / Through endless space with rustling sound / The falling leaves are whirled around. / Beyond my ken a yeasty sea / The Yangtze’s waves are rolling free. / From far away, in autumn drear, / I find myself a stranger here. / With dragging years and illness wage / Lone war upon this lofty stage. / With troubles vexed and trials sore / My locks are daily growing hoar: / Till Time, before whose steps I pine, / Set down this failing cup of wine!
On the Heights ( I ) 许渊冲译
The wind so swift, the sky so steep, sad gibbons cry; / Water so clear and sand so white, backward birds fly. / The boundless forest sheds its leaves shower by shower; / The endless river rolls its waves hour after hour. / Far from home in autumn, I’m grieved to see my plight; / After my long illness, I climb alone this height. / Living in hard times, at my frosted hair I pine; / Pressed by poverty, I give up my cup of wine.
On the Heights ( II ) 许渊冲译
The wind so swift and sky so wide, apes wail and cry; / Water so clear and beach so white, birds wheel and fly. / The boundless forest sheds its leaves shower by shower; / The endless river rolls its waves hour after hour. / A thousand miles from home in autumn, I’m grieved at autumn’s plight; / Ill now and then for years, ,alone I’m on this height. / Living in times so hard, at frosted hair I pine; / Cast down by poverty, I have to give up wine.
Written on an Autumn Holiday Rewi Alley译
These days of autumn, the clouds / Are high; wind rises in strength; / Far away the cry of monkeys can / Be heard, giving people a sorrowful / Feeling; skimming the white sands / And the water, waterfowl fly; falling / Leaves rustle as they come through / The air; The Yangtse seems endless / With its waters rolling on incessantly; /So many autumns have I now spent / Away from home, with sickness for / A companion; now do I climb high / Above the river by myself, /Troubles and sorrow have turned my hair / Grey; sick and poor, I now / Even stop drinking wine!
I Climb High Florence Ayscough译
Wind is strong, sky is high, gibbons wail sadly; / Shoals are bright, sand gleam white, birds fly in circles. / Without bounds is the forest, leaves fall, swish, swish, they drop; / No ending has Great River, swirl, swirl, it comes. / Ten thousand li sad Autumn! Have been long a wanderer; / A hundred years, many illnesses! Alone I climb the tower. / Sorrows, hardships, bitterness, grief, thickly frosted hair on my brows, / Inert I sink to ground; all fellowship ended; I drink muddy wine in my cup.
A Long Climb Witter Bynner译
In a sharp gale from the wide sky apes are whimpering, / Birds are flying homeward over the clear lake and white sand, / Leaves are dropping down like the spray of a waterfall, / While I watched the long river always rolling on. / I have come three miles away. Sad now with autumn / And with my hundred years of woe, I climb this height alone. / Ill fortune has laid a bitter frost on my temples, / Heart-ache and weariness are a thick dust in my wine.
Climbing the Heights 谢文通译
Swift wind and a high ceiling mournful the monkeys sound, / From island to white beach the birds are wheeling round. / Everywhere falling leaves fall rustling to / The waves of the Long River onrushing without bound. / Who grieves for Autumn a thousand miles from home / Despite lifelong illness I climb the terrace alone. / Hardships and bitterness frosting many a hair, / I abjure the cup of wine that stopped my moan.
On the Heights 李惟建译,翁显良校
High wind blowing, high clouds floating, gibbons wailing, / Sandbars gleaming white, the waters rippling clear, / Birds coming home, leaves rustling down -- / And the great river rolls on, ceaseless. / A stranger here, far, far, from home, / I can’t help feeling sad in autumn. / Life is short, my health failing, here I stand alone. / Life is hard, my temples greying, / I’m filled with regret. / Down and out, can’t even drink now, / Can’t even drink now…
An Ascent 徐忠杰译
A stiff breeze is up; the vault of heaven seems high. / Monkeys on the hills are making their plaintive cry. / The islets become clearer; the sandbanks, clean and white; / Water-birds are hovering over them in their flight. / For miles around, rustling leaves are falling without pause. / The Yang-tze-kiang is tumbling on in its onward course. / Far from home, autumn strikes me as adding to my grief. / An invalid, I mount the heights alone for relief. / Long suffering has left its cruel mark on my hair. / I’ve ceased anew to drink in utter despair.
Mounting 吴钧陶译
From heaven high the winds are whirling down with monkey’s whine, / And over the white sanded hursts the birds are cleaving fine. / The boundless forests shed their yellow leaves with rustles; / The everflowing Yangtze on its way rolls and wrestles. / Autumn is chilling me – always a thousand-miles-roameer, / Alone mounting the mountain, and a life-long sufferer. / I deeply loathe my rime-like temples as in these hard times; / Of late Senility yet forces me to give up wines!
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